If we see another woman’s magazine cover saying, how easy it is to get your pre-baby body back, we may just go postal in the checkout aisle. WE GET THE POINT. What are we talking about – The Mom Bod
We all know that the body obsessions begin at a fairly young age. We all want what we don’t have and are ready to try whatever means to get it. As we get older, the obsession doesn’t diminish and instead we throw new unattainable requirements in to the ring. So, by the time we become mothers, there are so many different versions of what we should be, not even the judgments can keep up! One minute a new mom is shamed for still carrying her baby weight and the next she’s ridiculed for using her baby as a weight. Do we ever win?
A Mom bod is a specific type of body that evolves over time. It can be carefully sculptured or meticulously neglected but either way, your body after becoming a Mom often becomes the star of a production you never knew you were in. As mentioned it can take on many different forms.
The ‘Fit’ Mom
The Mom whose only signs of being a Mom is the child on her hip. The one whose toned arms don’t continue waving long after her hand has stopped. The one we love to hate because everything in her life including her muscle to fat ratio is so perfectly balanced.
The ‘fuller’ Mom
The Mom who still calls it baby weight even though her youngest walks himself into school. The Mom who watches her child’s sport with a packet of crisps in one hand and a flavored water in the other (its healthy right). The Mom we hate to love because it seems as though we have it together better than she does.
Firstly, can you believe that in this day and age we still categorize each other based on looks? But now, let’s take it further than skin deep.
Firstly, the ‘fit’ Mom
Whilst often we are so in awe of this Mom, she is still the recipient of some serious negativity. Comments of neglecting her children because of her body obsession is one of these. However have we thought that perhaps she has a lot more on her mind than just her body? For instance, the exercise she does is her way of releasing the stress that motherhood brings. When her child hasn’t slept for weeks, that run is the only thing that keeps her sane. When her teething 9 month old won’t leave her arms, the only way for her to get those mood improving endorphins is to exercise with her baby in her arms. This is her way of being the best Mom she can be.
“The fuller” Mom
This poor Mom receives the most shame mail. She is the one that we all use as a way to make ourselves feel better. But again, take a deeper look. She could be the Mom who kissed her child goodnight never forgetting the journey it took to have him. It took her 5 rounds of IVF to have this miracle, involving pumping her body with excessive amounts of hormones. She always battled with her weight anyway but those injections certainly didn’t help. After all the time it took to have him she now uses every free moment to appreciate him. Even if this involves neglecting herself. She rushes between extra-murals grabbing the quickest meals she can which is never the healthiest, but who cares, her baby needs her. She is being the best Mom she can be.
The difference with these moms is that whilst so many are weighed, measure and found wanting, none are understood. We’re so quick to judge that we fail to read the back story. So we ask, instead of labeling fit mom or fuller mom…Can’t we all just be Moms?
If the last meal you had was picking at the unfinished food on your child’s plate.
If in a free moment last week, you managed to squeeze in that one run.
If your meal plans consists of whatever budget allows.
There are so many factors to ones body that by judging one aspect is like labeling a child as naughty because he or she threw a tantrum at the restaurant. We have hormones, genetics, emotions, all of which play massive roles in how you look and feel.
Take Tiger stripes as an example. You know, those glorious stretch marks that paint themselves across various areas of your body. Once again, unavoidable, but clear reminders of the extraordinary changes your body went through during pregnancy. Instead of shame, these too should be worn with the same pride as the magnificent creature they are named after.
Your perfect body
The sooner we learn to love the reflection in the mirror, the sooner body shaming loses all its power. Don’t miss out on those beach days with your family because it involves baring your wears. Make memories with your children by going down the water slide with them. They will always remember the laughter you shared and not what you looked like.
Take some time to find out who you are and what you need, aside from everyone else. Of course it’s in your and your families interests to be healthy, but figure out what YOUR healthy is. Take YOUR vitamins, exercise when possible, eat properly and try and get as much sleep as you can. We are not here to look or be perfect, we are here to do our best and to enjoy what God has given us. We teach our children to be who they are, so perhaps it’s time we led by example.
In the immortal words of Roald Dahl “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
All our love,
Cands & Stace
Whilst initiated as a blog by moms, we’re also Sistas (in law) and best friends and thus bring each of our own unique honesty about life’s ups and downs as mothers, wives and friends. So, come join us for the adventure that is life. The highs, the lows, the hugs and the blows (in your face from your child’s foot because he/she has somehow landed up in your bed)