top of page

Punishments vs. Consequences

How do you discipline your child?

Have you ever sat down and actually taken the time to think about it?

There is a huge difference between punishment vs. consequences,

Keep reading below for a breakdown of the differences and the benefits of applying consequences to your style of parenting.

Punishment -

  • punishment doesn’t respect the child’s right to make a decision, even if that decision is a poor one.

  • looks like a withdrawal of love in order to get the child to do what you want them to do.

  • doesn’t help kids develop new ways of taking responsibility for their behavior.

  • It can also be destructive to the relationship.

  • Punishments send a message to children that sounds like this: “If you think for yourself and not like me, you will have a price to pay.”

  • contradicts what most parents actually want for their children, which is to raise them to be independent and think for themselves.


  • Help your children learn and grow

  • They get to learn from their mistakes

  • They get to make better choices and improve their behaviors

  • Helps children experience the effects of their actions.

  • Help parents to have a chance to parent from their principles instead of from a place of anger, disappointment or frustration.

  • It’s a matter-of-fact learning experience in which you maintain a better relationship with the child as you hold them accountable.

  • Consistent and reasonable consequences can help you to develop children who can function independently, think for themselves, and make good choices throughout their lives.

How to use consequence instead of a punishment.

  • Before you decide how to respond to something first ask yourself, what is it that you want them to learn and improve, what is the goal? I know sometimes this can be hard especially if your kids are driving you bonkers, but try step away for a moment if you can.

  • Always be consistent, constancy in parenting is the GOLDEN key.

  • Be matter of fact, don't get into a debate with your child and don't give in. This is something I have to catch myself doing and stop with my son, he loves to argue with me.

  • Pick your battles, there are loads of things our children will do that we won't agree on for one reason or another. Don't try and tackle them all, pick up to three and stick with them for your own sanity.

  • Use "I" instead of "You", when you say "you mustn't speak like that", it sounds like you're just bossing them around, saying "I won't listen to you when you speak like that", will deliver a clearer message about what is acceptable and what is not.


Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Search By Tags
bottom of page